Multiplayer is Fun
by someone33
Summary: Some random mostly stereotypical stories about COD mulitplayer. T for language because you know that everyone who plays swears at everything. A/N: Unfortunately, this is actually not that funny.
1. Call of Duty 4

If you get confused with the names, sorry lol.

* * *

"Alright guys, ready?" One – One asked.

The other four nodded.

"Okay. We've been through the exercises. We got this. Lock and load."

* * *

And so they did. As they practiced, they split up into three. One – One went straight, One – Two and Three went to the left and the others right. They silently moved, their guns raised, carefully maneuvering around obstacles and checking all their corners. Suddenly, shots rang out. The team quickly relayed their statuses.

"This is One – Two. We are engaging the enemies, over. We got a cheap ass P90 'spray and pray' idiot here. Double Tap and Bandolier, probably. What an ass."

"Do you need assistance, One – Two?" One – One asked.

"No, we're- FUCK, THERE'S A FUCKING CAMPER."

One – Five sighed. "He's camping on the top of that stupid arch huh?"

Waiting to respawn, One – Two grunted. "Yeah. This is why I hate District. That stupid arch always gets me."

"Got 'em, One – Two. You can try and outflank them to knife the little prick after he respawns if you want." One – Three replied.

"Maybe. Hey One –Four, you got someone coming from the right. In the little sidewalk from the street."

"Yeah, I see him." One – Four confirmed. Grinning, he armed his grenade launcher. "This is for noob tubing me last round, motherfucker!"

One – Two laughed. "You got him with direct impact. Nice one man." Finally respawning, One – Two went to hunt down the camper. Of course, he succeeded.

One – Five threw a grenade in the direction of the cluster of red dots on his radar. He got three kills.

"One – Five, that was sexy." One – One said.

"I try." One – Five replied nonchalantly.

"Hey, regroup everyone. Looks like we wiped out everyone temporarily." One – One said.

So they did. Of course, they made it blatantly obvious. So a player on the team thought that they were so incredibly smart and was like "wow what a bunch of idiots, standing in a group like that" and threw a grenade, without cooking, of course, because he was the noob tuber who was so used to just shooting and expecting some kills. As soon as the pin was pulled, the One team scattered immediately and the noob tuber died, from the bullets and from the embarrassment of screwing up an easy 5 kill grenade.

One – Three chuckled as he saw that the noob tuber got team-killed for epic failing. "Team-kills always make me laugh."

Of course, hearing that comment, One – Five decided to knife him. One – Three lol'd.

One Three went to flank the other team. However, One – Three squeezed off one shot from his G3 and saw the hated red square and white cross. "Goddammit, we got a Juggernaut jackass here." One – Three had forgotten to reload and was killed by the Juggernaut user. One – One avenged him by planting a C4 on the player and blowing him up.

One – Two was casually walking around the marketplace, as if he were actually browsing for some fruit, casually knifing anyone who happened to try to shoot him. "Dude, we're playing a bunch of noobs."

"Yeah, I know." One – One said, headshotting another person with the MP44, earning a 20 kill streak. "Just a couple more matches and I can get rid of this MP44 and get the golden AK."

"You haven't gotten it yet?" One – Five asked. "I've gotten all the golden weapons already."

"Yeah well, I don't have wonderful accuracy. Have you seen my accuracy rate? It's like 12.32%."

"Aw guys, I got owned with Last Stand." One – Four said.

"Cheap."

"He was all the way down the hill of the street."

"Pro." One – Three commented.

"Score's 90 – 630. Is this even fair?" One – Five asked.

"Yeah well, at least it'll make them want to be better."

"Or make them want to hide from this game forever."

They all laughed.

In the end, the score was 100 – 750. The One team won. The noobs complained.

* * *

"Maybe next time, we should just run around with pistols."

"I did that once. We still won."

"Oh yeah. The other team got all pissy about it too."

"Haha, yeah, that was fun."


	2. Modern Warfare 2 part 1?

Who hates Modern Warfare 2? I know I do!

* * *

"Alright guys, we raped in the first Modern Warfare. There is no doubt that we will do the same here."

"Did you just get this game, One – One?"

"Yes, One – Three. They told me not to get it, but I couldn't leave you guys behind."

"Yeah well, you're going to wish you never knew us after this then."

"Shut the hell up. Let's go."

* * *

And so they did. Splitting up into pairs, the One team began to move. About three seconds into the game, One – One and One – Three were down.

"What the fuck was that? A double headshot?!"

"It was a sniper. They can snipe us from their spawn as we're running out."

"How?"

"Maps suck balls, bro." One – Two piped up.

One – One glanced at the scoreboard. "That guy's tenth prestige already?"

"It's a hack."

One – One face-palmed. "Hacks?"

"Good thing you weren't here for the first week this game came out. Man that was some carnage."

"I heard about that. Some guy at school was bitching about it. Some shotguns that could kill with one shot? So what?"

One – Four shook his head. "Oh no, they didn't just kill you with one shot. If you were just on the player's screen, they could drop you. Those things were like sniper rifles."

One – Two sighed. "Miss those damn things."

"Oh and those care packages glitches? I just didn't play until they patched it." One - Four said.

"Care package glitch?"

"Infinite care packages. And if you held a care package marker, you could run like a fucking cheetah on steroids."

As the game went on, the One team managed to stay in the lead. One – One quite liked the throwing knife and wanted to try it out. As one of the players jumped off the helicopter pad and looked around, he readied his knife-and the dude suddenly turned around and promptly knifed One – One in the face as he turned the corner.

"Wha – he was twenty feet away!"

"Commando."

"How did he know-"

"Heartbeat sensor."

"But-"

"It's okay, man."

Sadly, that was not the only time he was knifed. With Marathon, Lightweight and Commando, he realized that people could become invincible and gain magical powers that allowed them to knife people without needing any skill whatsoever. Not only that, but also coupled with the UMP45, people could kill him with no effort while he emptied magazines into them.

One – One was very sad. "Everyone just runs around with an AA-12 and those three perks." He muttered as he shot at a guy. He squinted at his screen as the guy kept running at him even after he began reloading. "Wait, what's that little yellow and red thing below my crosshair?"

"Painkiller." One – Five told One – One.

"Wha-"Knifed. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"It's the new Juggernaut. Happens when a person dies four times in a row."

"Oh so people can get a little pity present for sucking dick?"

"Pretty much."

One – Three spawned and was then killed again immediately. "Got a guy on the roof."

"You can get on the roof?"

"Yeah. And with tactical insertion, you can pretty much camp there the entire game."

"And with One Man Army, you never need to worry about running out of ammo." One – Four added.

One three spawned once more. He killed a guy with his TAR-21. He went along. He missed the G3. The FAL was really not a sufficient replacement. As he began to shoot at other people, he was killed by a grenade launcher with direct impact. As he watched the killcam, he saw _the very same guy he had just killed spawn directly behind him._

"Oh my fucking god." He muttered. But he shrugged it off.

The score was close but luckily the One team managed to secure a win, for the members managed to carry the team as their leader failed miserably. 7500 – 6700.

"This game is shit."

"Please don't hate us."

"Fuck you guys, I'm playing Battlefield."

* * *

Moral of the story: You don't let friends play games that suck. If you do, they leave you for another better video game.

A/N: Don't get pissed off at me for my opinions, you know it's true that MW2 has a lot of flaws. It is fun but on some days, just too much bullshit happens.

Will probably continue with MW2 since I've probably forgotten some stuff.


End file.
